Tonight Matthew I'm going to be .....

Orange!...

a.k.a. jordan a.k.a. Katie Price.

Last weekend I was in Galway. The night before I left I put on a light layer of L'oreal Sublime which is nice for giving a slightly healthy glow rather than going full on mahoggo.

However the morning after I arrived I realized "d'oh" I'd only gone and forgotten my (and by 'my' I mean my mother's)stupidly pale bronzer that I use at home.
Hmmm...annoying. So I had a brainwave. Why pay a tenner when I can go to Penney's a have a snoop around their cosmetics section. ( I have been pleasantly surprised in the past by their eyeliners)

I then noticed that not only do they still stock their Opia range, but that they have a new range of cheap-o cosmetics. These have the same retro feel as Benefit and are called things like.. Flirty Winks, Foiled Again and Ta Ta for Now.


To be honest Benefit have NOTHING to worry about as the bronzer I bought and applied the smallest amount possible left me looking like Jordan and Peter Andre combined.

Exibit a.
Inoffensive little thing , isn't it? When opened it looks almost...fancy.




So I decided to recreate my ordeal(or my orangedeal if you will) here. In pic. 1 you will see me (apologies it's late and I've had a looong day at work) being happy looking forward to a night out.

In pic 2. you will see how unimpressed I am by my bronzer results.

Pic 1.

Pic 2.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.